A few weeks ago I had a major mommy breakthrough. I had to experience for the first time the pain that is watching your child be in pain. Our precious baby O caught a little virus (most likely from our multiple visits to the playground) that caused sores in her mouth. I won't give you any more medical details but basically it was the week from hell. My poor little baby was in pain and there was nothing I could do other than wait it out and try to make her comfortable. It was excruciating and it left me feeling powerless and filled with anxiety. Here was the precious baby I have been caring for and now I wasn't doing my job. I was failing her...
But then I had to stop it. I had to block those scary thoughts and feelings and just push through it all. I might not be able to take away her pain, but I was the adult. I had to trust myself and know that I was doing the best I could. I also had to realize that this was not the last time that I would experience this. I still have to get through the chicken pox, the flu, maybe some broken bones, and oh dear god...adolescence!
So I need to save my freak out moments for all those fun things...
My best friend (a new mom herself) sent me this article: "Why You're Never Failing as a Mother"
Whoa! It's like they read my mind. I need to balance myself and remind myself that this motherhood thing is not an exam I need to ace, it's an adventure I need to enjoy. Even the days when I am on the verge of tears and holding my precious baby O in pain.
So next virus, next fever, I've got this.
"Chin up. Hang in there. And remember, you're doing a great job."